Speaking is a good thing.

So I'm doing some serious college-level procrastination here on a Sunday night because I feel like I'm still stuffed from the last three Thanksgiving meals I've eaten (three days in a row, not three years in a row). I should probably look over this political science presentation, but you know what? We all already know that China and North Korea have authoritarian governments. Hopefully. If you didn't know that, please refer to a New York Times near you. Or the internet. The internet is a wonderful creation.

While at college, I've learned a few things. First, that the college experience is like one big culture shock. Living with someone completely new and expecting to get along, making new friends quicker and becoming besties in months... It's expected of us but challenging nonetheless. The other thing I've learned is how some people live thinking that speaking up for yourself and for others is something that requires perfect timing and circumstance. I had never really experienced this kind of thing outside of cheesy American comedies and dramas, where I found it peculiar that a character would struggle so much over telling someone the truth, no matter how large or small the consequences. They'd always wait for the "right moment" or just make excuses until the truth came out in a horrible way that they hadn't anticipated, snowballing into the climax of the movie.

Don't get me wrong, I get when it's hard to say something when there's a lot at stake, but if you're just avoiding the subject for the sake of avoiding the subject, that's cowardice. I just read an article in the New York Times about my aunt and uncle who married five years ago, and they described their relationship as one that works because of communication. Everything is talked about. Some things may be argued over but at least they're out there.

In my own family, bluntness is a requirement. My dad grew up thinking debates were relaxed everyday discussions, while my mother thought the opposite, but regardless, debates are a regular thing. For some, this might make it seem like my household life is stressful or annoying, but I honestly miss it so much here at college where passive aggressiveness is the norm (I unfortunately do not exclude myself from such behavior) and there's no such thing as putting an issue out in the open to talk about. I've been in multiple situations where people have wanted to bring up an issue, but they don't because they're afraid of what comes next. There are times when things can end badly, but honestly, it's better to end something than to drag a horrible situation out. I have heard too many stories of how relationships (between friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends) ended because he said that she said that their neighbor's dog said that something happened when it didn't and then miscommunication after miscommunication ruins everything when it would have been so much easier to cut the crap and talk.

So people - most books and movies may create expectations about the awful shit that goes down when you actually talk directly at a person, but there are so many other books and movies that are about what happens when you don't speak. Like the book/movie Speak.

Got a problem with your friend? Talk with them about it. But more importantly, talk about solutions to that problem so it doesn't end terribly like in the movies. Got a problem with your enemy? Same thing. I'm going to cringe as I impart this little tip... Sometimes it's good to speak before you think. Too much, that is. Speak about your stress, don't stress about speaking, and all of a sudden your speaking will be stress-free.

I'll see if I come up with anything less ranty soon.

Inspirational People

I think we all like to think that there are truly inspirational people out there; people who wholeheartedly care for others, who show unfailing kindness through both their words and their deeds. I was blessed to have known my grandmother, who was that inspirational figure for so many family members and friends. For all intents and purposes, she is a saint in my mind.

To give you some context, my grandmother was the mother of thirteen children, whom she raised and home schooled on a dairy farm. As if this doesn't already sound like an impossible task, she also managed to stay happy and healthy as she welcomed friends, husbands, wives, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to her home throughout the rest of her life. I suppose I can even thank her for my very existence; it's because of her that my parents met. When I was little, my dad would tell me "Farm Stories," and my favorite was always when my dad and a few of his brothers would sneak off in the middle of reading something since their mother had nodded off, probably to go sit in the cherry tree and eat until they felt sick. It's simply so classic and American and I love it.

I don't know whether or not it makes me a terrible person to get my ideas about heaven from a TV show, but it does give the place a nice impression. In Buffy, there's an episode when she comes back from the dead and discusses what heaven was like. She recalls it being a place where she was completely content and at peace, and she knew that all of her friends and family were safe and loved. There are a lot of ideas about what heaven is like, but this is by far my favorite.

Rest in peace, Granny. You will always be my inspiration.

Prayer.

For the victims of the explosions in Boston, I pray that the injured may find comfort in the midst of pain and shock, and that the families of the deceased may be kept safe and supported within their communities as they endure the evil in this world. 

For those who do not take this tragedy seriously, I pray that someday they will see how much others are hurt by injustice and senseless acts of terror and that they will join the rest of us as we pray and act toward bringing about a less horrific world.

And for the rest of you out there, I pray we all get to live in a safer world someday, where the acts of the billions of good people finally drown out the few of the bad and eliminate those actions to the fullest extent possible.

On a More Serious Note (WAY More Serious)

Bear with me, this is serious but also very important. Listen up! Or rather read up... Even though that's not a phrase.

About a week ago, I was reading some newspaper or magazine (I think it was either the New York Times Magazine or The Economist), and I read an article about a 23-year-old rape/murder victim in India. It's sparked a massive debate throughout the world about the lack of action in the southern Asian countries when it comes to public humiliation and rape.

Tonight, there was a vigil held on the Cornell campus to honor this woman and to discuss what can be done to prevent these awful occurrences from happening. I initially went because my friend's mother asked if I could bring a bass drum down and keep a beat as a group of about maybe thirty or forty people sang both "We Shall Overcome" and a traditional Indian song. I don't know what it's called, but the whole beginning was so solemn. It definitely made me think twice about grinning and waving as I saw a few of my friends there as I most often do.

For the next hour and a half, around ten people went up to a podium and spoke about the issues surrounding rape. My friend's mother was the first to speak, and introduced the problems that the world is facing (yes RIGHT NOW), and called for justice for those dead or injured because of abuse. Justice, not revenge.

After her, a South Asian History professor from Cornell spoke, and what she said really hit home for me. Her basic point was that all of us walk around every day thinking none of these bad things will happen to us because we would never be out that late, or we would never dress like that, etc. So here's the problem: this woman who was brutally murdered was attacked on a public bus in a major city while with her boyfriend. Does this scenario sound familiar to any of you? Scary, no? I immediately thought back to a few days ago when my dad told me something that happened years ago. I had gone to a friend's house for a sleepover on the badish side of town. He figured it'll be ok, the neighborhood doesn't look too bad. So here I am, years older, and I just found out that the very same night there was a murder in someone's house three blocks down. This is scary business, people... I also thought of a story from Calvin and Hobbes when the family comes back from a wedding to find that their house had been robbed.

Yes, I was a Calvin and Hobbes fan.

When I first walked into the room where the vigil was taking place, I was surprised to see a mix of races there (I had looked at the invite list on Facebook... All Indian people), but also glad. One student, a Canadian with roots in China, actually read an episode from The Vagina Monologues, talking about the brutality and wrongness of rape with a few added statistics on the side. One billion women in the world have been sexually abused. That's one in three women. That's a LOT of people, and that doesn't even include the men and children.

Know your facts. Raise awareness. Aaand that's about as much seriousness as I can take.