Friday, January 4, 2013

New year, same old stuff

So now that I've looked back on my last post and realized it was basically all ranting, I'm going to provide you with an actual review of Les Miserables. GET EXCITED.

Watching Les Mis was like drinking a cup of coffee. For me, drinking a regular cup o' joe is a little similar to drinking something more like this:


When I first drink coffee, all I get is bitter taste, and it lasts me the entire cup (or abnormally large bowl-like container). Then, as I'm sitting in class, waiting to finally feel awake and on top of things, all I can think about is how much I need to pee (unfortunate but biologically inevitable). Finally, when I'm least expecting it, BAM. That darn tapping foot sneaks up on me to give me a thirty second warning that I'm about to start bouncing off the walls. So why do I drink coffee? The world may never know. (Speaking of which, if you immediately recognized that last sentence because of a tootsie pop commercial, you may still be wondering how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. The general consensus places an average around 600-800. You're welcome.)

So going back to Les Mis, here's what I thought. In terms of filmmaking, the beginning was rocky. The camera angles and weird switches made me a little uneasy, but I suppose it was for an intended effect. In any case, I assumed someone would understand it, and continued watching the movie with a little more cynicism. All of a sudden, there are a bunch of raggedy old men pulling HUGE ropes (as in, not the kind you'd read about in Fifty Shades of Grey. Not that I read Fifty Shades of Grey.), singing about looking down. This is when I first started regretting having little background with the story, because literally all I could understand were the two words "LOOK DOWN." On the positive side, though, this was the first I saw of an incredible display of costumes, hair, and makeup. One thing that really stood out, especially because of the director's apparent obsession with close-ups, was that no one had perfect teeth! Brownie points to Tom Hooper for historical accuracy. In case you were wondering, the beginning was coffee's bitter taste... with a little hazelnut flavoring (love that stuff).

If you're wondering how I'm going to make a vague analogy to the middle of the movie with my need to pee after drinking coffee, don't you worry. I actually needed to go (can I say that on a blog? I guess I'll find out one way or another). There was a lot of emotional singing from Hugh Jackman, and I really wish I could have started feeling emotionally attached at that point, but... I didn't. Don't worry, it becomes important later on in the story, and the emotions are magnified to level "unbearable." It's wonderful (but actually).

The tears started to fall when Anne Hathaway sang "I Dreamed a Dream," which was inevitable. When I saw the first trailer for the movie, when she sang through most of the song, that was when I decided that I would become extremely excited about this film. In all seriousness, what really made this movie memorable was the acting. Not the singing, sad to say, because I do think they could have picked up fresh new singers like they did for film version of The Phantom of the Opera, but then again, the acting talent would have become a huge risk factor, so I'm glad they stuck with people like Catwoman, Wolverine, Bellatrix Lestrange... Oh wait I mean...

Referring to my previous post, I liked Russell Crowe as Javert. Sorry?... Seriously, though, if you think about it, there are people who really just can't sing. Crowe can sing!! His voice just isn't exactly one of an angel, but I thought it fit his part well because of how he portrayed such a gruff and determined man, so although his voice is a big grating or barking, I liked how it built on the character.

Finally, I'd like to talk about the whole metaphorical bouncing off the walls part of the movie. If you haven't guessed, my emotions were what were going nuts, because after Hathaway's little song, almost everything was worthy of enough bawling to fill my empty bag of chips with tears. I'll let you guess how big the bag of chips was. There were happy moments and lovable moments, but mostly it was TEAR-JERKING, MIND-BOGGLINGLY BITTERSWEET MOMENTS OF SADNESS. If maybe half of this cast gets back together and does another sad movie, I'll come prepared with a box of tissues. I thought just going to the theater sans makeup would be enough, but I was so wrong. I'd also like to mention the amount of respect I have for Tom Hooper and his brilliant idea of recording everything live. Yes. You heard me. If you didn't already know, here's an interesting fact: None of the singing you hear on that big screen is coming from a studio. Every emotion, pause, and slight break in voice (if they're crying) is the real deal that they recorded during the filming and simply makes everything raw and natural.

For people who don't like ramblings and long explanations... Why are you on my blog? Just kidding, but here's a basic overview of my opinion in number-speak. The ratings are out of 10:

Acting: 9.999999999999 (well I mean they're not robots)
Music: 9
Directing: 10 (because Tom Hooper is obviously a robot)
Editing: 7
Mise en scene (cinematography): 8
Costumes, hair, and makeup: 10 (they're also robots)

I would put an enticing little "Next Up:" thing here, but I usually rebel against myself and decide to write about something else.

Next Up: The world may never know.

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